CHICKS DON'T FART…

That’s what every guy would like to believe, but the folks at Beano are actively seeking to dispel that myth, per below.

It seems from their site that they’re marketing this almost exclusively to women. Yes, I realize, of course, that women are human just like men, but why market such a product so aggressively to women? Guys fart too. Is there something about women I don’t know? Are they producing proportionally more gas than men? Hard to believe with the guys I know.

Have I finally discovered the mystery of why women go to the bathroom in groups? To play a quick round of “pull my finger?”

Joke of the Day – Zoo Performer

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.

However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office.

The zookeeper explains to the mime that the zoo’s most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly. The keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

The next morning, before the crowd arrives, the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage. He discovers that it’s a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime.

However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he gets bored just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.

Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion’s cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla.

Well, this goes on for some time. The mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.

Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, “Help, Help me!”, but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, “Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?”

……………..

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Let’s Talk About Naturals

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Hey, guys!

Look, since my last post about being a naturally cool guy, I’ve been thinking a lot about it. So I am going to share my thoughts about the topic and as usual it should be fun. Tell me what you think about that, later.

What does dating and women have to do with those, so called Naturals?!

I remember when I first heard the word naturals in this world of dating. Naturals are men, who are amazing with women. Those are the guys, who get the most of the chicks. Said otherwise, it’s known that only 10% of men, sleep with 90% of the women around them. The other 90% of men, wait to “get lucky”. Naturals are charming leaders, alpha males, romantics. They spark attraction upon meeting and pull women like it’s not a big deal.

One of the most interesting things here is…

that when you ask a natural, how he does it, you won’t really get a good explanation. For them it is obvious and having that success with women is their everyday reality. I mean even when I write these posts I wonder a lot. Sometimes I think “Well, that’s obvious! Should I write that or not?!”, while I later find out, that it’s not for most men.

How can these man help YOU!

Just go out and finds some guys who are naturals at this. And by the way, you probably know at least one such guy at the moment! Befriend them! Hang out with them and you are going to see their reality. Once you see what’s possible, you are very likely to succeed yourself. Don’t hesitate to ask them questions and be patient.

Your path to become a natural…

Well, if you are here then you are on your way to improve your dating life. You will soon find, or probably you’ve already found the community of men, that help each other about it. Call it Seduction Community, or Pickup Community, whatever! Just get some more info. I encourage you to get some products to have a basic ground. David DeAngelo is great for that. Oh, and don’t forget to read the Hot Alpha Female Blog – you rarely can find a woman who can express herself on that topic that well!

First start by improving your Inner Game. It will be a lot easier for you if you get the confidence all right, and get rid of all those “demons” that live deep in you.

Learn some techniques, but don’t get lost in those. Fake it until you make it. After that just do what works for you. Modify them so they can suite your personality. I mean, yeah, the Mystery Method is great! … for Mystery! You can’t become him ultimately…

Where am I…

Right now, I have integrated all that stuff in my life and keep my focus on more important stuff,

At first I worked a lot and I really mean it – on my inner game. It surely takes time, but it pays a lot later. Normally I like stuff about Evolution, Psychology and Human Behavior, so I found it to be really interesting anyway.

After that I noticed the great improvement. I dated girls, that I thought I will never be able to! It was all cool.

Then I started learning techniques. My problem is that I got a little too much into it that I should have. The thing is, that I was craving for more canned material, more than I would normally need. So I became a bit unnatural. After some time when I noticed the problem I stopped and started paying more attention on having fun.

I created my techniques, or modified others to suit me. Now I don’t even need them, as I can interact with women just fine without them.

Not a Natural … yet!

So remember – Fake it ’till you make it!

See also

• How to Deal With Test From Women – Part 2! (4)
• Confidence or Competence?! Or Maybe Competent Confidence?! (0)
• Community Love (2)

Joke of the Day – Intelligent Dog

A dog walks into a butcher shop, spends a number of minutes looking at the meat on display, and eventually indicates with a nod of his head and a bark that he would like some lamb chops.

The butcher, thinking the dog would know no better, picks up the lowest quality chops in the shop.

The dog barks furiously and continues to bark until the butcher selects the finest chops from the display counter.

The butcher weighs the meat and asks the dog for $5.90. Again, the dog barks furiously until the butcher reduces the bill to the correct price of $3.60.

The dog hands over a five dollar note and the butcher gives him 40 cents in change. Once again, the dog barks continuously until the butcher tenders the correct change. The dog then picks up his package and leaves the shop.

Now, the butcher is extremely impressed and decides that he would like to own a dog so clever. He shuts up shop and follows the dog to see where it goes.

After ten minutes or so, the dog climbs the steps to a house. When it gets to the top, it shakes its head as though in frustration, gently places the package of meat on the floor and, standing on its hind legs, rings the doorbell.

A man opens the door and starts to yell obscenities at the dog. As he does so, the horrified butcher leaps up the steps and begs the man to stop. “It’s such an intelligent dog,” he says, “surely it doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment.”

He then went on to explain how the dog had procured the best lamb chops in the shop, insisted on paying the advertised price and quibbled over incorrect change!

The man looked at the butcher and said, “Intelligent he may be, but this is the third time this week he’s forgotten his keys”.

……………..

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CITIZEN KUNT

Last night, I had a very insightful conversation with a young lady taking a film class. I was introduced to this student of the cinema at a get together at a friend’s place. She was cute in a “I have nothing better going on in my life right now” kind of way, so we spoke for a bit. When she mentioned she was taking some sort of film class, I politely asked how she was enjoying it.

“It’s amazing,” she said. “The instructor won a BAFTA.”

“Cool,” I responded.

“You know what a BAFTA is right?,” she asked condescendingly.

“A British Oscar.”

“Yeah,” she responded, having trouble understanding how a mere peasant l like me could possibly know what BAFTA was. “Anyway, I just find the use of visual imagery in film so expressive. I especially like film makers who are able to tap into the zeitgeists of their eras,” she continued.

Zeitgeist? Who the fuck uses the word “zeitgeist” in conversation?, I wondered. I felt like Woody Allen in “Annie Hall.” I wanted to step aside, look directly into the camera and ask the audience, “Do you believe how pretentious this chick is?…’ZEITGEIST?’… What are you fucking kidding me?” Instead I just nodded, as I listened to her babble on about Kurosawa and Bergman, as if I was supposed to be impressed by the fact that she memorized the names of a couple of famous film makers.

“They were such innovators,” she continued.

Her self-indulgent babbling was hitting about a 9 on the 1 to 10 scale of pomposity, so I tried changing the subject when there was a brief lull in the conversation.

“You know what I hate? When you get a bagel with cream cheese and they don’t cut the bagel all the way through so that just the top is cut, and you have to rip the bottom part of the bagel with your hands. That happened to me this morning.”

She gave me a “what the hell are you talking about, you moron?” look, and continued onto the question and answer portion of the program.

“What’s your favorite film?,” she asked.

“I can’t really narrow it down to one, but Porky’s is a definite contender.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” I responded with a straight face.

“Oh. Yeah, funny,” she said facetiously. “For me it has to be Citizen Kane. The use of visual imagery is just astounding.”

Christ! Again with the fuckin visual imagery? Didn’t the BAFTA winner teach her any other catch phrases to use at parties?, I thought. At least she didn’t say “zeitgeist” this time.

“Have you ever seen it?,” she asked in a tone that implied I was too stupid to even have heard of Citizen Kane, let alone have seen it.

“Yes, I have, ” I said politely, as I realized she was no longer cute in a “I have nothing better going on in my life right now” kind of way. Now she was just sort of there in a “I have no one else to talk to, and it’s too early to leave right now” kind of way.

“And what’d you think?”

“Of Citizen Kane? Wasn’t that enamored with it.”

“How could you say that? It’s a classic,” she protested.

“Why is it a classic? Because a bunch of film critics said so?”

“It just is.”

“But why specifically? The visual imagery? That’s not enough for me. The story has to be interesting too. I had to sit through two hours to find out Rosebud was his sled. Who cares?”

“You completely missed the symbolism.”

“That he yearned for the innocence of his childhood? I got it. My five year old niece could have gotten it. It’s not that groundbreaking.”

Then she looked at me like I insulted HER film…or I told her she was fat, or something. She then rolled her eyes, and walked away.

Almost immediately, my friend came over to me to ask what I could have said to her to piss her off so much.

“We were talking about Citizen Kane. I said I didn’t like it, and she acted like Orson Welles is her goddamn grandfather.”

“Yeah, she can be a little annoying with that stuff,” he said. “Too bad. I thought she might be interested in you. That’s why I introduced you.”

“If extreme condescension is her way of showing interest, then we should be engaged by next week.”

“Yeah, well, doesn’t matter. She thinks you’re stupid now.”

“She called me stupid?”

“Yep.”

“Like a 6 year old calls someone a stupid doodie head for disagreeing with them, or stupid as in unintelligent?”

“Choice B.”

“Why do you invite me to these things? More importantly, why do I come?”

“Because you have nothing better going on in your life right now.”

“Oh yeah.”

Epoca of colds

Joke of the Day – Invitation to Dinner

“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.”

“What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking fancy meal!”

“I know all that.”

“Then why did you invite a friend for supper?”

“Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”

……………..

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Joke of the Day – The Cab Driver

A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in New York on a dark night. The passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.

The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, drives up on the sidewalk, and stops inches from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look friend, don’t EVER do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologizes and says he didn’t realize that a “little tap” could scare him so much.

The driver, after gathering himself together replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault.

Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving hearses for the last 25 years!

……………..

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